Discipline for Solopreneurs

Get disciplined, get everything.

Discipline is more difficult for solopreneurs than it is for other type of professionals. 

We’re alone. 

I know we’re not totally alone — we have our online communities and that’s helpful. But in our day to day, we’re alone. 

It’s easy to procrastinate. Or stress out. Or give in to exhaustion. Or not do what we said we would because of a silly reason made up by our monkey brains. 

Sometimes, it feels like the whole world is against you. 

But it isn’t. I’m with you. And we’re about to crack discipline once and for all and make you productive as hell. 

“Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most.” — Abraham Lincoln

Secret to Success: Get Disciplined, Get Everything 

In this newsletter: 

• The 4 Cs of discipline: which one do you struggle with? 

• How I made discipline easier. For paid subscribers only. 

• A new way to think about willpower. For paid subscribers only.  

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The 4 Cs of discipline: which one do you struggle with?

As with most soft skills, our basic understanding of discipline is based on our childhoods. 

That’s not to say you should start blaming your parents for being undisciplined. You’re not a kid anymore — you have all the power to change anything you want. The conscious mind is amazing at overriding the weaknesses of the subconscious once it’s aware of them. 

Figuring out exactly what part of discipline you struggle with (and connecting it with your childhood experiences) will do just that — give you awareness. 

Instead of thinking of discipline as this one huge incomprehensible thing, let’s break it down. 

Step #1: Choices

“Teaching children how to make choices early in their lives is one of the best gifts parents can give, because the earlier children learn to be responsible for their choices, the more likely they are to make responsible decisions later in life.” — Christian Conte, PhD 

While my parents have always been happy to give me all the choices in the world, I’ve spent most of my childhood with my controlling grandmother — and I was always the good kid. 

When I first became a solopreneur, I struggled to make the rules. I was great at following rules — which is why I did well in school, university and any job I had — but entrepreneurship was a different animal. 

It took me forever to separate the two things in my head: the me who created the rules and the me who had to follow them. 

The me who created the rules took the time to think, observe and be creative. This required deep self-awareness. 

“As I have interviewed and studied business leaders, I have found that the ones who are most satisfied with the way they resolve their defining moments possess skills that are left off most job descriptions. Specifically, they are able to take time out from the chain of managerial tasks that consumes their time and undertake a process of probing self-inquiry.” — Harvard Business Review 

Once the rules were created, the me who had to follow them just followed them. All it took was a little self-belief. Some confidence that yes, I had set the right rules. 

Who are you when it comes to making choices? Are you the one who can’t decide, or the one who can’t follow up on decisions?

Step #2: Consequences

“If people know that an unwanted consequence will follow, they’ll be significantly less likely to perform that action. 

If, for example, we believed that every single time we drove over the speed limit, we would get an expensive ticket, then most people, most of the time, would not drive over the speed limit. However, people are in a hurry and have experienced that, more often than not, speeding doesn’t lead to a ticket — so they keep doing it.” — Christian Conte, PhD

There’s no one to give solopreneurs a ticket, so it’s easy to slip up. What would be the consequence of not doing what we said we would do? In the short term, it would be nothing that dramatic. 

The popular advice to deal with this is to create a “bigger vision.” A vision so amazing that it will pull you in. 

For me, this didn’t work. 

What worked, instead, was creating very small, very specific wants that seemed just out of grasp. 

If I keep writing my articles and my newsletter, I may be able to go on that trip to New York. I may be able to take mom to Italy. I may be able to take some time off in August and enjoy my kids’ summer vacation with them. 

You see, this isn’t a vision. Visions are out there. They seem so distant that they can hardly motivate you to do anything. 

But wants — specific, short-term wants — they feel real. You can almost taste them. 

So taking them away from yourself feels stupid. Cruel, even. 

I’ve been a solopreneur for 10 years and let me tell you this: I’ve been infinitely more disciplined over the past year, when I changed my vision for specific wants. 

Step #3: Consistency 

“Parents start off having a tremendous amount of credibility with their children. As long as what parents say remains consistent with what they do, they get to keep that credibility. However, if parents don’t follow through, they begin to lose credibility.” — Christian Conte, PhD

Did you know that you could lose credibility with yourself? If you keep breaking your promises, your brain stops believing you. 

This affects your confidence, which only makes things worse. 

The way to get out of this downward spiral is to start being honest with yourself. 

If you’re exhausted, and you know you won’t finish your article this evening, just be kind to yourself and let yourself relax. Don’t try to push, blame, or bribe. 

However, when you know you have the capacity to do the work, do it. 

We’re all inconsistent with what we promise ourselves sometimes, but if you make it a habit, discipline will fly out the window. 

Step #4: Compassion

“If we want to raise compassionate children, we must always act out of compassion. Parents’s job, after all, is to help children learn about and live in the world.” — Christian Conte, PhD

This reminds me of a Maya Angelou quote:

Solopreneurship has a steep learning curve. Be kind to yourself, and when you make a mistake, instead of blaming yourself, seek to learn. 

Seek to learn the psychology and the strategies of successful solopreneurs. 

Then, when you know better, you’ll do better. 

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How I made discipline easier. 

Let me share a few more tricks that worked for me, and have helped me build a 6-figure online business.