When I was starting my one-person business, my mom friends were skeptical.
I have two children now, 2.5 and 4.5-year-old boys, and my mom friends keep repeating “how good I have it” and how lucky I am.
It’s true; I am lucky. I’m lucky that I started before the kids.
But say you have a kid, and you want to start now. How do you find the time? How do you find the energy? How do you find the motivation when you’re not sure it’s going to work?
I got you, mama.
Self-love is the key.
No one blamed themselves to success.
I know you want fast results. Money. Followers. Opportunities. And I know that you will get there, but you’re not in your career season of life right now. You’re in the raising (small) kids season of life. Accept that.
That’s not to say you can’t start. I just want you to start with the right mindset. Positive and self-loving. When you start with the right mindset, you set achievable goals. When you achieve them, you feel good about yourself. That good feeling will keep you moving forward.
Set a higher goal.
Moms (and women as a whole) tend to be modest in their goals. I just read a story from a Medium blogger who’s doing very well, and her goal was to quit her day job and have “enough” money. As in, enough to go out to eat when she wants to.
Then you read Tim Denning’s goal (if you don’t know him, he’s like the king of Medium), and his goal right from the start was to become the most prolific writer on the Internet, gain a massive following and create a 7 figure business.
Why is that? Why are our goals always just a bit over “fine”? “Fine,” but without the day job. “Fine,” but with dining out.
Set a higher goal. A goal that keeps you awake for a while longer after the kid is asleep and pulls you in with such force that you can’t say no to it.
Get excited. Want stuff. Will you please want stuff? Want them as selfishly as possible. It’s okay. Men have been wanting them for years; nothing bad has happened to them.
Start small and make it fun.
Shaunta Grimes, an author of 10+ books, says she started her writing career with 10 minutes of writing per day. She’d set her timer for 10 minutes, sit down, and write her book.
She used her “mindless” time—folding laundry, putting away toys—to think about her book outside of these 10 minutes, so she knew what she’d write the moment she sat down.
But it was 10 minutes of writing! Who can’t spare 10 minutes per day to make their dreams come true?
Small steps rock!
It’s even better if you make those 10 minutes extra fun. Something to look forward to. Take your computer out on the terrace with a latte or a glass of wine. Go to a nearby cafe. Put your favorite music on. It’s called habit stacking: learning a new positive habit by combining it with a pleasant habit you already have.
On another note, if you want to know the 8 things I’d do differently if I were starting now, I’ve shared them here.