How to Get More Out of Life

There are 2 things that prevent solopreneurs from getting what they want.

I know what you want (I’m pretty sure).

• Your own 6–7 figure solo business.

• Working 20 or less hours per week. 

• Taking 1–2–3 months off without a significant dip in income. 

• A book deal or high-ticket public speaking invitations (or both). 

• Good life. Free life, for you and your loved ones. 

I also know you can get it. 

All of you can, just not everyone will. 

And it doesn’t come down to how. You can all learn the how. You open Google and most of it is available for free. 

I ask you then: if you want success, and the how is clearly laid out in front of you, what stops you? 

Two things stop creators. 

I’ve worked with thousands of solopreneurs, in one capacity or another. Here are the two things that stop them even when they know the how: 

• Lack of confidence OR

• Lack of structure 

It’s one or the other. The people who lack confidence are very organized and structured. The people who have confidence are all over the place.

And here’s why… 

You live your life walking around 3 “life zones.” 

• Your Comfort Zone, where life is familiar and comfortable. 

• Your Stretch Zone, where life is unfamiliar and interesting. 

• Your Panic Zone, where life is scary. 

People who are used to living in the comfort zone are smart, effective, organized — and lack the confidence to become successful. 

People who live in the panic zone (usually because of childhood trauma) are creative, confident, brave risk-takers — but need the structure because no one buys chaos.

Let me tell you two stories to illustrate this. 

Story #1

My husband, Viktor, is a hard-core perfectionist who loves his comfort zone. Things are either done right or not done at all. Opportunities are carefully considered and often rejected. 

One day, a friend called him and invited him to join a small business that was getting traction, but needed more work & attention to grow. 

And Viktor froze. He thought. Pondered. Talked about it. Literally tossed and turned at night. Because how would it work with his job, which was already demanding? Would it be worth it? What would this change mean? 

After lots of consideration and talks, he asked his boss to let him work 3 days a week so he could invest the other 2 (plus most of his weekends) into the business. 

The business started growing and after 3 months, the 2 days per week weren’t enough. Viktor needed to quit his job to focus on the business.

More sleepless nights followed. With a little support, he agreed and went all in. 

That business grew, supported our young family, and Viktor eventually exited it and sold his half for $100K. (Which, I don’t have to tell you, took a few more sleepless nights to be decided.)

The thing is, things can only ever be “perfect” in your comfort zone. Things can only ever be controlled in your comfort zone. At least, that’s the feeling you have, even though it’s an illusion. 

In your comfort zone, there’s no room for changes. Anything outside of the picture-perfect, well-organized life that Viktor has seen in his loving, supportive, happy family throws him out of balance. Will he be able to handle it?? 

He’s been an entrepreneur for 6 years now and slowly starting to get used to uncertainty and living with one foot in the stretch zone. 

Story #2

My mom inherited an apartment from my grandmother. She decided to invest her savings into renovating it and renting it out. 

So we started making plans, talking to contractors, and then choosing one. We set up a budget and everything was going great. 

Until the day my mom had to send the first instalment to the contractor. She called me and said, “Are we sure we want to do this? What’s the point? Shouldn’t we use my savings to have some fun?” 

My mom has been through a turbulent, primarily poor childhood. She lives in the panic zone where anything good only lasts a moment. 

Throughout her life, anytime she’s made some money, she’d spent it to have fun: shopping, travel, dining out. Her mind is telling her money will probably run out soon and who knows when she’ll get more, so let’s enjoy it while it lasts! 

I’m mad she wants to spend on fun again, so I’m like, “Wouldn’t you enjoy having this extra income as you’re nearing retirement?” 

And my mom, a recent cancer survivor, said, “Oh, who knows how long I’ll live, you see how things are, illness comes out of nowhere and I wonder if I shouldn’t just have some fun and live life.” 

You see, that’s what happens when you’ve lived in the Panic zone. In the Panic zone, people look for instant gratification and fun distractions. Panic zone people live on risk & adrenalin. 

It took my mom a lot of effort and calming down to make a good decision for her future. It took structure, more budgeting, and talking to an agent about the potential rent.

In both cases, the stretch zone is unfamiliar. 

Our brains always look for what’s familiar and try to escape what’s unfamiliar, says millionaires’ therapist Marisa Peer.

Even if logically you know something is good for you, you’re always attracted to “the evil you know.” 

So let’s make confidence & structure familiar. Here’s how. 

Make confidence familiar. 

Make praise familiar. 

Praise yourself. Praise yourself out loud, and praise yourself in your inner monologue. 

When your self-critic shows up, tell her, “No way, I’m great.”

It’s funny at first, but trust me, it works. 

Make self-love familiar.

If you go back home after a hard day, your husband says he’s hungry and your kid says he needs help, what do you do? 

There is a correct answer. It is this: tell them to give you a moment and take 10 min to relax. Take a shower, change, or just close yourself in the bathroom and massage your feet.

Your husband and your kid waited for you all this time, they can wait 10 more minutes. 

That’s just one example but you get my point: prioritize yourself and you’ll learn to love yourself. Learn to love yourself and you’ll learn to trust yourself. And what is confidence if not trusting yourself? 

Make structure familiar. 

Make consistency familiar. 

Grab onto something and do it regularly, no matter what. Choose one thing: it could be little, but you need to keep at it. 

I’ve been writing 2 newsletters every week for over a year already. My process changed a few times, then I found my way. 

It’s been a game-changer. 

Make having money familiar. 

How you spend money is how you spend energy. 

Start saving and investing if it’s with minuscule sums. Get used to having the resources and focus on how to use them best. When you focus on distributing resources, your brain will find structure easier.

Knowing all this… 

Let’s take another shot at setting your stretch goal for the next 12 months. I know some of you found it hard last week.

If you’re the kind of person who struggles with confidence, double your current goal and message me the result. 

If you’re the type of person who struggles with structure, make a list of the first 3 steps you need to take to achieve your goal, and message me the result. 

If you’re a part of our paid community, you can get my Big Goal Getter planner below.