I suffer from mean imposter syndrome.

One simple strategy kicks me into gear.

I postponed starting an e-mail list for 9 years. 

Because who would ever want to subscribe to my e-mail list? And even if they did, what would I tell them? 

And even if I started telling them things, and writing regularly, who’d listen?

So what’s the point? 

Plus, this idea of a freebie — I always hated it. It felt to me like offering candy to a kid to take them to a windowless van. 

Because that’s how I saw myself: I was a windowless van. A place that may look curious from the outside, but inside, it was a lie. 

The definition of imposter syndrome is being afraid that someone will find out you’re a fraud. I’ve been afraid of that for 10 years. Still am. 

The only difference is I know how to fight it now, and the answer isn’t “act despite your fears.” Sure, you can act, but the problem is that when silly emotions blind you, you can’t see the best way to act. 

Then, when the wrong actions take you to an unsatisfactory result, your voice goes, see, I told you so — and the problem only gets worse. 

So how do we get out of this damn place? 

---

A couple of years ago, something weird happened. 

I was trying to lose weight. I bought the Noom app, and did what it said, and it was working, but there was a voice inside my head. That same voice from the windowless van. 

It kept saying you’ll screw it up eventually. You like to eat. You’ve been here before, succeeding for a while and then failing. 

Have you ever had that self-talk? It’s funny, sometimes we don’t even know it’s there. We think we’re just being “realistic”. Nuh-uh. 

The Noom app has health coaches as part of their service, and I messaged a coach. I told them exactly how I felt, and asked for a coaching trick — what do I do with myself when I sense I’m falling off the wagon? 

The coach said to me, “I see you suffer from a lot of negative self-talk.” 

Me? I’m, like, the most positive person I know. 

It was a direct messaging feature, so I scrolled back up, and I read my message. 

And there it was. I was putting myself down. Even though I was doing great, I didn’t focus on that. I focused on the horrible feature that was surely coming. 

---

It happens because of emotion. 

I was at a bio-hacking conference last week and caught Gary Brecka’s talk about how our mind works. 

Gary Brecka explains the concept of how the brain processes information.

It was a rather simplified concept — I’ve done a neuromarketing course in university and I know there’s much more nuance to it — but there was a lot of truth in what he said. 

The short version is this: 

• Events create emotions. 

• Emotions determine memories. 

• Memories determine decisions. 

• Decisions determine the future. 

Gary explained that this was the way information entered our brains: first, it goes through the emotional part, then it becomes a memory, which we use to make assumptions for the future. 

Because I failed at losing weight once, and remembered it as a bad experience (because of the bad emotion), I expected bad things to happen again — and I called it “realism”. 

---

This voice determines your future. 

The problem is, this doesn’t just happen with weight loss. It’s happened in my career, in my business, in my relationships, in all aspects of my life.

You have bad experiences with your first pieces of content, or first attempts at selling anything, or your first clients, and your brain goes, NO. This sucks and we’re not doing it anymore. 

It’s now closed to anything that you might do differently. It doesn’t want to do things differently. It wants to escape, period. 

It’s easy to let your brain rely on past data. 

But when I refused to take my memory of any situation to be the one and only truth, things changed. 

---

Like with my fear of flying. 

I used to be a nervous flyer. I’d avoid plain trips if I could, and when I couldn’t, I’d be thinking about the flight weeks in advance. 

Then, I found Marisa Peer. Marisa Peer fixed my flying problems in a single video. 

She said this: you don’t fight emotion with logic. Emotion will always win. 

You fight emotion with emotion. Then you have a chance. 

And which emotion wins? Like in the wolf saying, the one you feed. 

Marisa suggested this: start saying to yourself that you love flying. 

Sure, in the beginning, there will be some internal argument, but you keep implementing this new phrase in your inner monologue. 

And defend it. There must be something about flying you love. 

I love the view. I love the fact that I can go anywhere in the world, and fast. 

I love that I feel alive when I travel. When there’s no internet on the plane, I love taking a break to read or listen to music. 

When I started to focus on all that love, fear just dissolved. I fly much more often now and actually enjoy it. 

---

Solopreneurship is scary & overwhelming. 

You have to put yourself out there, knowing full well that you’re not perfect. Knowing there are so many people already out there who do the same thing and are better than you (or at least more experienced). 

So what did I do to overcome this? I kind of used the plane strategy & I started to do whatever I wanted. 

It goes like this: 

• Doing whatever I want makes solopreneurship fun. 

• The fun creates a positive work memory. 

• Now, my brain works with this positive memory and looks for ways to get me more of that. 

• I have more ideas & energy around my business than ever. So many, it’s hard to keep up. 

For example, I forced myself to launch & sell two mini-courses in two weeks and made 30+ sales. This was stressful, but crazy fun. 

Now, I have a sick idea for the paid members of Smarter Solopreneurs. The content remains free, as it always will be, but I’m building something phenomenal for my paid subs. 

---

I love this. 

I love the fear, and conquering it. 

I love myself for being brave enough to put myself in situations where I feel imposter syndrome. That just means growth. 

I love it when I make a sale. I love it when someone tells me I helped them. I love it when big writers message me and want to collaborate. 

I love this crazy journey. I’m building something I believe in. I make a bunch of messes, sure. Then I apologize and move on. No one’s perfect. Luckily, the internet is forgiving. 

---

Final words. 

Make sure your solo business is a positive experience. Make sure you approach it with love. 

If you do too much; if you feel busy — stop. Let priorities & ideas come to you, then listen to your inner voice. 

So many people think about the how. How to push through this sucky stage & grow?

It’s because they fear they’ll never figure out the how, so they go straight for that. 

Then, when they do figure it out, they see there are so many options, that without a what and a why, you can never make any of the options work. You’ll just get distracted to infinity and ultimately half-ass everything. 

So. Stop. Be. Show us you. Grow a thicker skin. Do it all with love. Enjoy it. 

If not, better go get a stable job. 

❤